Up late

Such a productive weekend - not the most fun one, but productive. We are starting our kitchen renovations soon and I am so excited. It will be amazing not to have my cheesy "beech" coloured Ikea kitchen with the slab grey walls and no counterspace and a terrible layout. We have track lighting, need I say more? I am keeping the kitchen cabinetry but revamping it all to another colour/style etc - something bright and cheerful and really fun to be in. And cook in, of course.

Just one week until our big trip for the summer, for which I am so excited. Going to see my friend's new baby, which should be loads of fun. LM is already practicing saying "Baby Mawlo" (instead of Marlo), which is the cutest. I am feeling really energised and peppy and up tonight which is why I am still up so very far past my bedtime. Must go to sleep.

Recent Travels

Good lord, I have been a lazy blogger recently. Mostly it's because we've been away like mad. Also, I feel quite constrained in writing about work. I know this blog is anonymous and all, but I always have it in the back of my mind that someone might stumble upon this, and I don't want them to find my musings about my place of employment, so that cuts out a lot of potentially humerous and amusing stories.

On a more serious note, I'm frustrated in some ways that I am still not sure what I want to be, where I want to go, or all that stuff. I am struggling with being at work full-time. D is not all that happy at his job and so we are thinking about transitions for him. Transition with a large mortgage is not always the comfortable place to be. I don't think I will personally make any changes any time in the next year; it's really too soon to know what I want. But I have some ideas cooking away.

In other news, I had the most mellow wonderful couple of weekends. The first was a very adult-oriented trip. We dragged LM around wine country. He was such a good sport, despite the mega long driving and the lack of toys. My in-laws asked how many toys I brought to entertain him.
"Um, well someone at the campground gave him a bus, and then he played with rocks a lot," was my lame reply.

But have no fear, the second weekend was all about the LM, with lots of feeding ducks, petting goats, visiting farms, swimming in warm, toddler pools and so on. Oh, and buffets. Buffets used to gross me out, but when travelling with a picky toddler who is wary of the unfamiliar it is sooooo amazing to have a wide variety of foods to offer.

Tonight we called my brother, who had been visiting and LM had this sort of conversation with him about the weekend, which was so neat. LM cried out "Pigs! Goats!" My brother was all "???" until I explained that a few days ago, LM saw pigs and goats at a farm. Then LM chimed in again "Feed ducks! NO Turkey!" I realise that doesn't sound mind-blowing when I retell it, but to me it was very cool, because after patting the ducks and goats (or as he calls it, being "nice" with them) LM was scared of the turkey and didn't want to feed it. I've never heard him recollect about something that happened so many days ago unless there was something around to trigger the memory - like if he was right next to the item or place. In this case he was just pulling it out of his head without any visual cues. It was lovely.

Leaving the Little One

I've been missing LM a lot at work lately. I had this mini-breakdown outside the subway not too long ago, sobbing on the phone to my mother about how I didn't want to leave him all day long. It's tough. I don't know what came first, but he's also been very clingy when we drop him off the past few weeks. He was just wrapped to me this morning and wouldn't let me go. Finally peeled him off me by getting him interested in a toy car. I kissed him and left quickly, but I could hear him sobbing when I got outside. So at times, I think I am meant to be home with him.

And then this morning I had an appointment and kept him home late and he just had this complete tantrum, and I wonder, could I deal with this every day? I could and I would, but I'd feel slightly bored of that too.

I don't think anything is changing in the short- or medium-term, but it all has me thinking about where I want to go and what I want to do.

My baby fever is kicking into gear again too, but sometimes I wonder if it's just because I'd like another year off! But even if it were, would that be so wrong?

Lazy Summer

I am loving toddlerhood. LM is so much fun. We took him to a farm yesterday and told him to put berries in his bucket. I wasn't sure he'd grasp the concept, but as soon as I said that, he dutifully started picking them one by one and dropping them in his bucket, only stopping to sample from time to time.

Everything in his life is "big" or "tiny". There's a big cat, a tiny cat, a big pillow, a tiny pillow, a big dog, a tiny dog. So when he yelled out "big horse, tiny horse" at the farm, it was pretty funny when I turned to look and there was indeed a Clydesdale and a 32" miniature next to each other.

When we came home he was very keen to help us wash the carrots out of the garden - he carefully hosed dirt of each one, occasionally playfully turning the hose on Daddy.

Sleep - he slept through the night two nights in a row recently. This is huge. What did we do? Nothing. We've been taking him to our bed whenever he gets fussy. We let him sleep there if he asks. We stopped trying to force anything. We've been letting him stay up far beyond a respectable bedtime. And then he goes and sleeps through in his crib with absolutely no prodding. I don't expect it will happen all the time now, but I suspect it will start happening from time to time and will gradually become the norm.

I am taking a photography class these days, which I am loving. It's one night away from my boy and I miss him dreadfully. But I love my little ritual of working a bit late, then heading to a crepe place and eating a deliciously decadent nutella-banana crepe and fresh cherries. And then I go to a grown-up class and show off 8000 pictures of LM.