Mud

I recently bought a sand and water table for little man. It was the first GINORMOUS plastic toy we have bought, and I kind of have a love hate relationship with it. Note - that picture is not of LM - it's of some other impeccably dressed children who are cheerily playing together and NOT dumping any of the sand on the ground. Seriously, this photo must have been snapped about 30 seconds into the photoshoot. Also, whoever christened this toy did not have a toddler. If they did they would have known that the name "mud table" is far more apt.

Sleep - I got a nice comment recently thanking me for my sleep posts, which made me feel good, because most of the time I feel horribly delinquent after writing them. (I would link the commenter, but I don't believe his blog is being updated, unless he is posting elsewhere?) I have come to the sad conclusion that LM just does not need as much sleep as the average human. I know Weissbluth would vehemently deny such a possibility, and tell me all would be solved by LM just going to bed earlier. But I think I'm right. My dad was like that - he could wake at 4:30 and function wonderfully all day. My older brother was too, as an infant. I am most definitely not like that. I'd love to sleep 10 hours a day if I had the time. The last few nights he has "slept through the night", 9 to 5. What is that, like 8 hours of sleep? I shudder to think - both for his sake, and mine. After 5, he will go back to sleep but only with us. It's impossible to get him back down in his crib then. But we are reclaiming some sense of an evening, and some consecutive hours of sleep, which is nice.

Health scare - thank God it seems to be nothing, but will be monitored. Hooray! I take nothing for granted these days. Well, that's hyperbole. Almost everyone takes most things for granted. But I'm trying to take fewer things for granted.

Highs and Lows

I am such a bad blogger lately. Did I mention that I am now officially a lawyer? I am waiting for my gowns to arrive right now, and I even have a few court dates lined up to wear them to! Very exciting. Maybe if you're very, very good I could be convinced to post some pictures of me in my "court dress", incognito of course.

In other, not so good, news, D found a lump and is now in a rush to get to the doctor and make sure it's not, um, bad. I can't even deal with that possibility right now. I'm sure it's probably nothing, right? Reminds me, I should be doing my monthly breast exams. And so should you! (Well, most of you at least)

Boo Hoo

I really, really, really wanted to go to bed early tonight. But I can't because my g*ddamn toddler is still awake! The sleep thing is killing me. My attempt at "training" a few weeks ago worked to a degree. He is now no longer nursing/feeding all night. But he is super addicted to us and will not relent! Last night he woke up an hour after going to bed and screamed incessantly until I finally held him. When I thought he'd fallen back asleep I put him in the crib and he wailed again until finally we gave in and just went to bed. It was 10 o'clock.

D is out of town and I just want 10 minutes to kick back and the kid refuses to go to sleep in his crib. I started to lose my cool and actually raised my voice to him for the first time. He is now wailing in his crib and I am steaming out here. Why can't someone give me a goddamn break and let me have some sleep? No wonder I've been sick for the last 4 months.

I know I sound ungrateful. I love that little man more than anything. But I need to sleep!!!

Seeds of Hope

Someone told me recently that it takes two months to form a habit. So I have a new resolution to be biking to work twice a week. Combining my commute with exercise seems like the perfect way to fit it in to a schedule that doesn't have a lot of "give" for me-time.

I ride through one of the most infamous neighbourhoods in Canada on my way to work. You might assume that it's a depressing way to go but I love it. Yes, it's incredibly poor and there are a lot of very fragile people around. But there's some hope there too. There are a lot of people down there trying to make life better for the people who live there. And in between the poverty and the occasional syringe (I've only actually seen one once) there are artists, gardens, cobblestones, hip furniture stores, beautiful early 19th century buildings. There is a sense of community there. It gives me some degree of perspective on my way to work at Big Law - on how lucky I am, and how I've got to make sure to use my "powers" for good and not evil.

Mental

I've been dealing with someone new these days. Today he sent me the same document 3 times in 45 minutes, first as a copy, then directly to me, and then to me AGAIN. There was really nothing to say about as it was an FYI so I didn't respond the first two times. The third time I did to acknowledge receipt and then he tells me my timeline isn't fast enough. So I offer to do it sooner. And then he never responds. Ugh. I don't expect a thank you, and you don't even have to acknowledge every e-mail, but after doing a whole bunch of crappy work, I think some acknowledgment to say "Yeah, that sounds good" is common courtesy. He has never once replied directly to me except to tell me to do something, and has never even ended the e-mail with "And thanks."